I hate being practical

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
10/20/2014 at 21:08 • Filed to: None

This is probably a much better investment than a Roadmaster wagon.

Also infinitely more tunable.

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DISCUSSION (57)

jkm7680 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:11

Thou shall not deny a Roadmaster Wagon. I SAID BUYYYYYY ONNNNEEEEE.

midengineer > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:12

You should buy an MR2

Sportwägen, Driver Of The Red Sportwagen > midengineer
10/20/2014 at 21:16

He should buy a red Jetta Sportwagen TDI with 78.5K miles ;)

Vicente Esteve > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:16

Im just leaving this here

Kinja'd!!!

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:18

Yes, but...

Kinja'd!!!

You know what the right answer really is. You know deep in your heart. Don't deny your heart... Follow it.

My citroen won't start > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:19

Why not a Cadillac?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > midengineer
10/20/2014 at 21:20

I'm guessing you weren't here for the shitfest earlier where I tried to figure out what cars I would be *allowed* to have by my dad.

Basically it comes down to: newer than 1990, FWD or AWD, full-sized, cheap insurance, under $5000, reliable.

But *damn* I want a manual. There's a saab and a Volvo that fit the requirement, but that's it.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > jkm7680
10/20/2014 at 21:21

But it has a worse interior, is slower, and gets worse gas mileage.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > My citroen won't start
10/20/2014 at 21:22

Because northstars eat head gaskets and main transmission seals like candy

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:24

240 wagon dude. Manual, RWD, so many common engine swaps, newer than 1990, decent MPG's, safe as fuck, reliable, and cheap.

Tohru > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:25

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND YOU NEVER OPEN IT AGAIN, BLASPHEMER.

Kinja'd!!!

Tohru > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
10/20/2014 at 21:26

MOTHERFUCKING B-BODIES.

My citroen won't start > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:28

Kinja'd!!!

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:28

You got it better than I do. I have the option of only 2000 or newer, compact, less than 120 HP, Reliable.

jkm7680 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:31

But it's got wood paneling, a wagon and an Lt1 if I'm not mistaken.

GeorgeyBoy > My citroen won't start
10/20/2014 at 21:37

Bro is that a Catera. Really.

My citroen won't start > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 21:38

Lovely Catera.

GeorgeyBoy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:40

You should go full size murder sofa. You'd be 100% G.

Kinja'd!!!

http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/472314…

GeorgeyBoy > My citroen won't start
10/20/2014 at 21:42

"Lovely Catera"

*Does not compute*

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:43

You're getting another Park Ave?

I did see your earlier post.

Travis, Senna of The High Seas > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 21:53

Correct me if I'm wrong, but an SBC (like the one found in the Roadmaster) is infinitely more tunable than pretty much any engine out there. Perhaps 'tunable' isn't the right word, but there's not really a concise way to say 'big power for a little money.' Either way, other than drive train layout, the Roadmaster trumps the Ultra in every way. Plus, think all the things you could do in the back of that beast with a front bench and trunk like that:

Kinja'd!!!

Your destiny awaits my friend...

I'll take 911 RS for $5000 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:01

MURDERSOFA #2!

Or... Mudersofa the second. I think I like that more.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:06

No its an Omega (technically) but ya, gross

GeorgeyBoy > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/20/2014 at 22:10

At least the Omega has some respect.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:10

I really hate them both

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > I'll take 911 RS for $5000
10/20/2014 at 22:12

Murdersofa 2: Electric Boogaloo'

Murdersofa with a Vengeance

Murdersofa: Now with Boost

DeathCouch

GeorgeyBoy > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/20/2014 at 22:13

Same. The Catera is one of the few cars that actually makes me feel sick.

Not sure why, I don't get sick looking at other terrible cars.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Travis, Senna of The High Seas
10/20/2014 at 22:13

Hmmm... It is the 350 cu in LT1, I believe, though slightly detuned from more 'mainstream' sports cars. My only concern is gas mileage.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey
10/20/2014 at 22:14

Right now I have a LeSabre, it's younger counsin that is way worse build quality and not as luxurious or powerful.

The PAU is a flagship vehicle and it *shows*

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:14

Having a difficult time getting onboard with that styling

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
10/20/2014 at 22:15

Doesn't that still allow for an NB Miata?

GeorgeyBoy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:15

But it's gangster. I get intimidated when I see one. Without a vinyl roof of course...

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:17

Yes, same here. Well that and the Taurus, but thats because of the interior upholstory, makes me feel like Im sitting in velcro. But If I can redo the interior on a taurus, Id own one

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:18

nope. my mother wants to coax me into a Smart. Dad wants me in a Yaris.

Also forgot to mention, a lot of airbags are needed.

GeorgeyBoy > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/20/2014 at 22:18

Depends which gen of the Taurus. I'm not mad at them.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:19

Im talking about the 1998-2002 and the 2003-2005 models specifically

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Tohru
10/20/2014 at 22:20

OBDI, no heated seats, no automatic climate control...

Hm.

Gets better gas mileage than my LeSabre, somehow.

I'll take 911 RS for $5000 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:21

CarnageCouch?

GeorgeyBoy > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/20/2014 at 22:21

I don't like the oval gen. My friend has a 05. Mediocre, but they don't nauseate me.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:24

I just hate the interior on those things

Travis, Senna of The High Seas > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:26

Meh, probably not great, but the Ultra's probably isn't that much better when you compare them. Plus, a manual swap into a Roadmaster IS actually highly feasible by comparison. The other thing that just now occurred to me is:

Kinja'd!!!

Lincoln LS

Can be had within the price range (possibly even the V8 model), and is a far better car than either the Roadmaster (which is still a chick magnet) or the Ultra, or anything else that fits the description.

GeorgeyBoy > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/20/2014 at 22:27

Kinja'd!!!

Not the worst. I always felt comfortable in it. Definitely not Caliber offending levels of terrible.

Local Miata Bro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 22:30

http://wichita.craigslist.org/ctd/4720256863… it meets the requirements

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > GeorgeyBoy
10/20/2014 at 22:36

I dunno, It bugged me

Jayhawk Jake > midengineer
10/20/2014 at 22:48

So he too can lose to an Aveo?

Tohru > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 23:04

OBD I > OBD II when you want to make more power, but the '96 is OBD II equipped.

'95 and '96 have both heated seats as an option, and in '96 the automatic climate control was standard.

TL;DR - YOU'RE WRONG.

Kinja'd!!!

P.S. Automatic climate control? What, moving a lever and a knob is too much work for ya? Kids these days are so fucking lazy...

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Tohru
10/20/2014 at 23:11

The Roadmaster in question is a '95. How on earth does the diagnostics system have anything to do with power output? To me it's just annoying because I can't use my OBD2 dongle.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/20/2014 at 23:15

Link?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
10/20/2014 at 23:21

http://wichita.craigslist.org/cto/4711804867…

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/21/2014 at 00:10

Murdersofa and the couch of secrets

Tohru > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/21/2014 at 01:18

OBD I is more forgiving to engine modifications than OBD II. Early OBD II systems were known for putting vehicles in "limp home" mode if the modifications disagreed with what the computer thought the engine should be able to do.

midengineer > Jayhawk Jake
10/21/2014 at 11:11

So he can beat S2000s. CC: Jay

midengineer > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/21/2014 at 11:13

Manual V6 Camry. Old enough to actually have some driving fun in unlike the current ones.

Jayhawk Jake > midengineer
10/21/2014 at 11:26

*nearly lose to.

midengineer > Jayhawk Jake
10/21/2014 at 11:31

Winning's winning.

Jayhawk Jake > midengineer
10/21/2014 at 12:20

Except when you lose to a FWD hatchback

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
10/21/2014 at 16:24

Ohh I see. I guess I got the two confused for a moment.